Standards?

 'Diptiiiiiii' 

She screamed . I knew it was her. I instantly recognized her soothing voice. I was heading to my home from school. I was in grade 10, so was she .  We were continuously in same grade from 1 till now.

I retrograde and gazed at her blissful and cheering face. As always the face with wide smile and a little blush and shyness on her face dozed me off. i couldn't explain this felling. Infact I was not sure what it was. i was always amazed by her beauty but i never bothered to explain. she anew squawked "i am on the same road today. lets go together",she said. "Are you again going to your uncles?"i asked . "ohh! you knew"she replied. we walked home and again repeat the same old routine. 

This used to be our costumary days and it was going delicate. Time was flewing firmly and our board exams were near. Now we needed to prepare ourselves for it and we were busy. I was scrolling my facebook page and i saw lgbtq community page. With a bizarre and peculiar thoughts i snapped and go into it. i was startled when i glanced at the first photo. it was two girls kissing eachother and the hashtag described it as as lovers. i was more astound and went more into it. Everything about lgbt was clearly stated there and the moment i read it i hated myself for scruntining it because that was the instant i knew who i was. It was harsh for me to find out about myself at the most important phase of my life.  

 Now I was afraid if the society wouldn't accept me. i was afraid if i would end up alone. i was afraid about how my parents will react. would they even accept me as their child? the big questionmark left its mark and i didn't wanted the answers. For a certain period of time i regretted for opening the page. After i found out who i was, i myself couldn't accept myself. how could i bother anticipating others to accept me like this. i thought i was a mess. I have had never saw girl couples hanging around hugging and kissing like normal couples do. What was it? I couldn't name it. and i couldn't even ask about it to my friends. i never opened this topic to anyone. It took me whole two years to open up and ultimately have proper mettle to speak about it.

it was tough but was the greatest pleasure i ever recieved. now i can be myself and since my parents supported me the thoughts of society didn't bothered me anymore. i eventually realized it was not troublesome to find about who i am and not a sin i committed to.

I decided to speak up and determine what is best for me. it was not only for me but for all the lgbtq peoples who are frightened to pipe up about themselves. I finally realized it was not a muddle I was tangled into. It was just the society dragging me into standards.